In 12 hours I will be taking off for my second half-iron triathlon. I’m more calm than I ever thought possible. I packed quickly, and have little stress about what tomorrow brings.
Except for one small thing. I haven’t run in two weeks. I had a fast 18k in the valley that brought on some pain that lasted for a large part of the race. The pain had started a few weeks before and was building at each run. I quickly got myself to physio, but I’ll confess, biking has taken the forefront in my training. And this week was filled with family, friends and many, many meetings.
There’s a voice in the back of my head that keeps saying “Tomorrow isn’t the A race”. “You don’t have anything to prove”. “You know what the right decision is.”
It’s incredibly hard not to get caught up with always pushing the hardest, making every race count and attempting to do better each time. I guess that’s what racing is all about.
For some people.
I know if I run tomorrow, I will have pain (I even had pain walking my dogs today). I know if I run tomorrow, I could potentially injur myself further. I know if I run tomorrow, I won’t have my best time.
I know if I run tomorrow, it won’t be the right decision.
With a lot of thought put into it, I won’t be running tomorrow.
That is the beauty of the race I’ve signed up for. I can still swim and bike – both of which aren’t causing me pain – without sacrificing the race day.
I am worried about disappointing people and having to explain why I didn’t run. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of work on figuring out what’s right for me and less about what I think people expect from me.
I am focusing on being authentic.
It’s time to get focused for what I want to achieve between now and ironman, while avoiding (further) injury.
I have a slew of physio exercises I need to focus on and a half marathon in mid-July that’s become a bit of a tradition for Tim and I. I will focus on making myself better for these future races and not push through tomorrow’s triathlon for the sake of finishing it.
I have to remember that 1800M swim and 90k bike ride are nothing to baulk at!
So in slightly less than 12 hours, I will be starting my Aqua bike race. Without shame.